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All reviews - Movies (51) - TV Shows (8) - DVDs (3) - Games (1)

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:18 (A review of Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009))

This movie really pissed me off. For one thing the acting was completely horrendous, the only half-decent person in the whole movie was that Josh Hutcherson kid. Also, please stop with the vampire movies. Can Hollywood be a little original for once? Another thing that pisses me off is that everything happened way to fast. One minute he's telling him he can't leave the campground, the next there fighting in a frigin' forest. The story was pretty decent, but it was ruined by the terrible acting and bad special effects. One of the only reasons I bothered to watch this movie was because of Willem Dafoe, one of my favorite actors. His name was put in the main credits, but he's only in two scenes! I'm not under exaggerating. Two, count em'. But the number one thing that pissed me off the most was that Salma Hayek grew a beard. Was that really necessary? Babes and beards do NOT mix, doesn't matter what kind of movie it is. 0.9

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The Box (2009) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:17 (A review of The Box (2009))

Press the play button and two things will happen. One, right in your head, your brain will die a little. And two, you will waste 2 hours on your life on a crappy movie. I was very skeptical about this movie. It seemed like it had a good idea. But I couldn't see them turning it into a 2 hour movie. The score was distracting, because it sounded like something you'd hear in "The Haunted Mansion". The story was just ridiculous and confusing. A guy comes to your house and gives you a button. Press the button and all hell breaks loose. The only thing I liked about this movie was Frank Langella, because he's awesome. But the special effects on his face were terrible. Overall, "The Box" was a ridiculous, confusing and over-acted film. 2.2

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Funny People (2009) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:16 (A review of Funny People (2009))

Let's take out the "Funny" in the title and just call it "People". Because, honestly, I didn't find it all that funny. First problem with the movie: The Length. Did they have to take two and a half hours to tell us the story of this comedian with relationship problems? Second problem: Waiting half the movie to find out something we already knew. About halfway through the movie we find out that he is not going to die. Even though, anyone who watched the trailer would already know that. Third problem: Leslie Mann. She just really pissed me off in this movie. So overall I thought this movie was too long and the funniest scenes were the parts when the actors were doing stand-up.My suggestion: If you want to spend two and a half hours on a movie, watch "The Departed". 4.7

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The Love Guru (2008) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:14 (A review of The Love Guru (2008))

Remember when Mike Myers was funny? That was a long time ago. And now when he does make a movie, which happens very rarely. The outcome is not exactly what I would call "funny". Waaay too many plays on words. Yes Mike Myers, we get it, Indian names can sometimes be long and sound funny, but we don't have to make 50 jokes about them. The only scenes I found interesting were the Hockey scenes (eh?). Overall, it was a boring, badly acted, slapstick failure. I'd Rather watch "The Cat in the Hat". 0.5

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Lethal Weapon (1987) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:13 (A review of Lethal Weapon (1987))

I haven't seen a lot of Buddy Cop movies, but so far this is the best one. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover star as two very different cops who become partners. I know it may sound cliched, but it's actually really great. Richard Donner directs, and he does one hell of a job too. Lots of action, you definitely won't get bored during this movie. I usually don't like Mel Gibson, but I actually liked him in this film. Him and Mr. Glover make one of the best movie duos in history. So go ahead, watch it. I guarantee that you WON'T get too old for this shit. 9.2

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Get Smart review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:13 (A review of Get Smart)

Get Smart was a TV show from the 60's. The show was a spoof of all the spy movies and TV shows around that time, and that's pretty much what THIS movie was. Starring Steve Carell as Max Smart and Anne Hathaway as Agent 99. The two are hilarious, but they don't exactly have the best chemistry. I think it's the age difference. I am a big fan of "The Office" and Steve Carell, but Steve seems to be stuck in Michael Scott mode. Max and Michael are very similar characters. But overall, Get Smart was an O.K. movie. Not Great, but at the same time not too bad. And you gotta love that Bill Murray Cameo. Probably the funniest scene in the whole movie! So it's a pretty funny movie. I'm not telling you to go to your nearest Best Buy and get it IMMEDIATELY, but if you see it on TV check it out. 7.0

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Terminator Salvation review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:12 (A review of Terminator Salvation)

I'm not sure weather this is a Sequel or a prequel. It's kind of both. Although Salvation wasn't as good as the first two Terminator movie, it was better than the third. The special effects are great, but that shaky camera thing, yecch, I hope that fad ends soon. I'm glad we finally get to see a more in depth look at the post-judgment day war. Overall, the acting was pretty good, and the direction was decent, the plot: not that great. But still a good movie. 7.2

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The Enforcer (1976) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:11 (A review of The Enforcer (1976))

Harry's back! In his third, disappointing, adventure!

The Enforcer is definitely not as good as the original Dirty Harry (can't compare it to the second one, haven't seen it yet). The first movie had a simple premise. Simple and yet, genius. One bad guy, One cop. But in this movie, people die and the audience is left wondering, why. Characters you've never seen before are killed and you're wondering if they're important. Harry's back on the police force in this movie, which angers me. The ending to Dirty Harry where he throws away his badge was perfect. Also we barely get to see any action from Harry. There's only about 2 scenes where he's fighting someone. Overall, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I expected more from Clint. 5.7

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Sherlock Holmes review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:10 (A review of Sherlock Holmes)

When I first heard there was going to be a Sherlock Holmes movie, I was like "Yeah, all right! Finally!". Then when I heard my favorite actor was the lead role, I was like "Yeah, even better!". Then when I heard it was an action movie, I was like "Wait, what? Sherlock Holmes an action star?". So needless to say I was skeptical. It didn't help that I hadn't seen any of Guy Ritchie's other movies. But in the end, I liked it. I though the blend of action and mystery was great. A lot of people didn't like this movie, but I'm a sucker for a good mystery plot. And you can't go wrong with a Hans Zimmer score. Robert Downey Jr. was great as Sherlock Holmes, and same with Jude Law as Watson. Overall, it was kind of gloomy and often hard to follow, but in the end it all comes together and leaves you satisfied, at least until the sequel. 8.8

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Dear John (2010) review

Posted : 8 years, 3 months ago on 1 August 2010 05:09 (A review of Dear John (2010))

Terribly dull. I don't like the two main characters, so that's a great start, eh? I find none of the characters interesting at all. The father was the only remotely interesting one, but he died. The plot tries to twist by having the girl married someone else, but they end up together anyways. So, it's exactly like every other romance movie made nowadays (God, I sound like an old man). Overall: Overacted and boring. If you want a good love story, check out Shakespeare in Love. 2.6

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